How Small Tasks Hold the Secret to a More Peaceful Life

Washing dishes, sitting in traffic, and folding laundry can transform our lives

I’ve had many conversations with friends and family over the last few months, centered around this question: what we can we do when feeling so helpless in the chaos all around us?

And I’m not talking just about the politics of the day - everyone has things going on their lives that can bring stress and uncertainty.

But overall, it’s a good and difficult question - one that I think deserves a lot more attention.

As I’ve said many times before - we can’t control everything around us - we can only control that which is within us.

So that’s where I’d like to start.

Start with Love

We often think of love as something expressed in grand gestures—romantic declarations, acts of charity, or life-changing decisions. But what if love is meant to infuse every single moment of our lives, from folding the laundry to waiting in traffic?

What if love is not just an emotion but a way of being, present even in the smallest and most mundane tasks?

This idea is found everywhere - from mysticism in all of the Abrahamic faiths (Christianity, Islam, Judaism) to Eastern mindfulness traditions, and even scientific research around how our brains work.

Thich Nhat Hanh, the renowned Vietnamese Zen master, teaches that washing the dishes or drinking tea can be an act of deep presence.

In Christian spirituality, St. Thérèse of Lisieux’s “Little Way” shows that even the smallest acts, when done with great love, become a path to holiness.

Richard Rohr, a Franciscan contemplative, speaks of the Universal Christ, who is present in all things, making every moment a potential encounter with the Divine.

Rumi and Rabbi Nachman of Breslov provide similar examples from the schools of Sufi Islam and Hasidic Judaism.

There are even well-documented examples of breathing and grounding being key to finding peace through different neural and chemical processes in our brains.

By embracing this mindset, we begin to see that our inner world shapes our outer world. When we live with love and presence, not only do we transform ourselves, but we also create a ripple effect that touches everything around us.

The Power of Presence in the Smallest Acts

The modern world conditions us to rush through life, seeing routine tasks as obstacles rather than opportunities.

We brush our teeth so we can get to work, drive so we can arrive at our destination, wash the dishes so we can be done with the chore.

Next time you find yourself doing a routine task that seems like an obstacle, pay attention to how your body is reacting. Are you feeling tense in your chest or shoulders or face while you’re folding laundry or doing dishes? Are you gripping the wheel tighter than you need to when sitting in traffic?

What if we start to view these actions not just as means to an end but moments of sacred significance?

Thich Nhat Hanh teaches that the key to joy and peace is to be fully present in whatever we are doing. In his book The Miracle of Mindfulness, he writes:

"When you are washing the dishes, washing the dishes must be the most important thing in your life. Just as when you are drinking tea, drinking tea must be the most important thing in your life."

This means that even the simplest actions—brushing our hair, walking to the store, stirring a pot of soup—can become acts of mindfulness, gratitude, and even prayer.

Or he even challenges us to take these simple actions or obstacles, and “use them as a bell.” By that, he’s referring to a Buddhist practice of using bells to remind us to focus our minds and find peace and awareness.

Stuck in traffic? Use it as a bell.

Someone is rude to you at work? Use it as a bell.

Richard Rohr echoes this idea when he speaks of the Incarnational Path, the belief that God is in everything, even the mundane. He writes in The Naked Now:

"If it is true, as the mystics say, that God is in all things, then everything can be a pathway to God—if we are willing to be present to it."

Rabbi Nachman of Breslov, a Hasidic Jewish mystic, taught that God can be found in even the smallest, most mundane actions. He emphasized the importance of hitbodedut—a practice of personal, informal conversation with God, often done while performing everyday tasks.

A beautiful quote attributed to him explains:

"Every step you take, every breath you breathe, every word you say—all can be an offering to God if done with a full heart."

(Admittedly, I first thought that quote was going to be attributed to Sting, but alas…)

One of my favorite lines from the beautiful poetry of Persian Sufi (Islam) mystic Rumi is:

“Work in the invisible world at least as hard as you do in the visible.”

Rumi frequently wrote about the divine presence being found in the ordinary rhythms of life. He saw daily work and simple tasks as acts of spiritual devotion when done with love.

Notice the pattern here?

Isn’t that pretty special that this concept spans across so many different cultures, generations, and religious/spiritual confessionals?

If we adopt this perspective, life itself becomes a prayer. We begin to see that every small moment holds the potential for love, connection, and transformation.

It’s really not as difficult as it sounds, even if you hate these tasks (like I often do!). Just try it, I promise you’ll notice a difference. Maybe not immediately, but if you’re mindful about it - you’ll start to remind yourself “oh yeah, I need to focus on doing this task with great love” and it’ll get easier with time. You don’t even need to fully understand what it means! Personally, I’m still working on this - I’ve come a long way, but just ask anyone living with or spending significant time with me - I’ve got more work to do.

St. Thérèse’s “Little Way” – Finding Holiness in the Ordinary

One of the most profound teachings on love in everyday actions comes from St. Thérèse of Lisieux, a 19th-century Carmelite nun. She developed a spiritual approach called the “Little Way,” which teaches that holiness is not found in grand achievements but in small, humble acts done with great love.

For St. Thérèse, simple actions—smiling at someone, offering kindness, cleaning up after others—became a path to divine union. In one of her greatest works (and her autobiography), The Story of a Soul, she said:

"Love proves itself by deeds. The smallest act of pure love is of greater value in the eyes of God than all other works put together."

This aligns perfectly with Rohr’s teachings (or rather, the other way around) on how we “live ourselves into new ways of thinking” and not “think ourselves into new ways of living.” In other words, love is not just an emotion or an idea—it is something we practice.

Folding laundry can be an act of gratitude—thanking life for the warmth and protection of clothes.

Cooking a meal can be an offering of love—nourishing our bodies and souls, and of those we care about.

Smiling at a stranger can be a quiet act of kindness, brightening someone’s day in ways we may never know.

These seemingly insignificant actions, when done with intention, shape our souls, our character - and ultimately, our world.

And they are things that we can control.

Transforming Negativity into a Spiritual Practice

One of the greatest challenges to living with great love is dealing with frustration, inconvenience, and suffering. Whether it’s waiting in traffic, dealing with a rude coworker, or facing an unexpected setback, our instinct is often to react with irritation, resentment, or anger.

One can’t look around today and not notice our reactions to one another and how they seem to be coming from places of negativity.

But both Thich Nhat Hanh and Rohr teach that frustration itself can be a doorway to spiritual growth.

Thich Nhat Hanh emphasizes pausing, breathing, and transforming negative energy into compassion. Instead of snapping at someone who frustrates us, we can ask: What pain might they be carrying?

All of us at some point in our life have had the compassion to think about someone’s mood or reaction - whether it’s speeding/aggressive driving, or a server/customer who is less than warm - and thought, “maybe something bad, like a family illness, is going on in their lives right now, that’s why they’re acting like this.”

But how often do we keep that mindset?

Rohr speaks of the “Path of Descent”—the idea that real spiritual transformation happens not when life is easy but when we learn to surrender to challenges with love. He warns:

"If we do not transform our pain, we will most assuredly transmit it."

In other words, hurt people hurt people.

Just as transformed people transform people.

This means that every time we meet frustration with patience, every time we replace anger with understanding, we are actively reshaping our hearts. We are reshaping the way we accept outside influences, transforming them internally, and radiating them outward.

Here are few simple ways to practice this.

When stuck in traffic, breathe deeply and use the time to cultivate patience rather than irritation. We may have driven through 10 green lights but only noticed the one red that stopped us.

When dealing with a difficult person, see them as someone in need of love rather than an obstacle to your peace. We never know what battles someone may be fighting - or battles they’ve fought and survived in the past. Maybe the love you show them, through your internal transformation, will help lead them to their own transformation that will bring them peace and happiness.

When something goes wrong, see it as an invitation to practice surrender rather than control. The ego loves nothing more than to control any and every situation. But we can’t, nor should we - so we need to learn when to surrender that compulsion to control.

With time, what once frustrated us begins to soften into opportunities for love and peace. Again, beginning with that internal transformation that eventually works externally, if we do it right.

The Ripple Effect

The way we move through life affects not just ourselves but everyone around us. When we approach life with presence, patience, and love, we create a ripple effect that spreads outward.

Rohr teaches that spiritual growth is not about escaping the world but transforming it by transforming ourselves. He often reminds us:

"How you do anything is how you do everything."

This means that if we cultivate love in small, everyday moments, we naturally bring that same love into larger areas of life.

Whatever we have going on inside ourselves inevitably flows outward into the world.

If we constantly feed ourselves with negativity, frustration, and outrage - our external actions will be reflective of that, whether we are consciously aware of it or not.

But if we nurture peace, love, and presence in our daily actions - our external life will be more transformational for ourselves and others. And it will impact others, believe me!

That doesn’t mean you have to immediately start donating your entire check to a charity, or volunteer at the soup kitchen every day (if you want to, you certainly should, though!).

A person who practices patience in traffic is more likely to be patient in relationships.

A person who learns to do small tasks with love is more likely to approach their work and community with the same spirit.

A person who transforms personal frustration into peace becomes a source of peace for others.

The ripple effect is real. And it all starts with how we approach the most ordinary parts of life.

Once we accept that internally, we can’t help but practice it externally.

The Freedom and Joy of a Love-Filled Life

At the heart of Thich Nhat Hanh, St. Thérèse, Rohr, and the others’ teachings is the idea that when we live with love in all things, we experience greater freedom, joy, and peace.

Instead of seeing life as a series of obstacles, we begin to see every moment as an opportunity to be present, to love, and to grow.

Instead of rushing toward the “big things,” we learn to cherish the small, simple, beautiful moments that make up life.

Instead of viewing everything negatively or through the lens of victimhood, we learn that we can help make anything spiritual and special.

Instead of waiting for happiness in the future, we realize it is available right here, in this breath, in this moment, in this act of love.

How is that not liberating?

How is that not true freedom?

How is that not finding true peace in a seemingly chaotic world?

Choosing Love in Every Moment

As much as I’d love to, I can’t sit here and act like I’ve got this all down. And I hope this post isn’t coming across that way - because I’m far from “enlightened.”

I still get angry too often at the slightest inconvenience.

I still have trouble holding my tongue when someone says something that I disagree with.

I still refuse to do what needs to be done because I procrastinate and ruminate.

But I’ve been through storms and I’ve worked at coming out of them alive and making it safely to the harbor.

And through those experiences - and through the normal experiences of every day life - the most special moments seem to be when I tried to practice what I’m discussing here now.

So I’m trying to put these words on paper more as a reminder to myself, rather than a sermon to others. It’s always helpful to be able to go back and re-read these. I want this to be transformative, not performative.

So from what I’ve learned, it appears to me that the secret to a joyful, peaceful, and meaningful life is not found in grand achievements but in choosing love in the smallest of moments.

Brushing your teeth can be an act of care.

Waiting in line can be an act of patience.

Folding laundry can be an act of gratitude.

Cooking food can be an act of love (even if you don’t know how to cook - or maybe especially if you don’t know how to cook).

Responding to frustration and negativity with love and compassion can be a path to transformation.

So next time you turn on the news, open up a social media app, or take part in a conversation where things might be uncomfortable - remember these things we discussed here.

By doing everything - especially the small things - with great love, we reshape our inner world. And in doing so, I’d be willing to bet my life that we will reshape the world around us.